The next step, when you sense you’re getting frustrated or anxious, is to apply “The Golden Rules of Triggers.” It’s very simple: Whatever you feel compelled to do, don’t. Compulsions are not choices, and they rarely lead to positive outcomes. The moment you feel yourself moving into the Survival Zone, label it: “Ah, there I go.” Take a deep breath. Inhale through your nose to a count of 3, and exhale slowly to a count of six. That will quiet your body. Finally, feel your feet, to get out of your head and ground yourself in the reality of the present moment. You’ve just bought time. Now you should be able to ask yourself “How would I behave here at my best?” and make a conscious choice about how to respond."